Your first interaction with an agent or publishing house will likely be through your query letter. Your query letter is your first impression, and sadly, for many authors, it’s the last impression too.
If you don’t write a great query letter or don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll either get a polite but terse rejection letter or no response at all.
You want to write a query letter that lights up an agent’s eyes and makes them exclaim, “Send me your manuscript!”
How can you write a query letter that makes people want to learn more about your book?
Mary Demuth knows how. She’s an author and literary agent who’s been on both sides of pitching, and she has a lot of wisdom to share
Mary DeMuth: I’ve been an agent for about two months now, and I’ve gotten a deluge of queries, and I have a lot to say about them.
Thomas: I remember my first few months as a literary agent. On my first day, no one knew I was a literary agent. I received two queries and sent each person a personalized rejection letter. They both replied the same day, expressing their gratitude, and I thought, “I’m going to be the kind of literary agent who does this for everyone.”
However, the next day, I received five queries, then ten the day after that, and soon it was fifty a day. I realized I couldn’t continue writing personalized rejection or request-for-more-information letters to everyone. You quickly learn what works and what doesn’t.
Before we dive into tips, let’s discuss what goes into a query letter. Some people might not even know what a query letter is or what it should include.
What are the ideal components of a query letter?
Mary: A query letter is essentially a pitch about your project, whether it’s nonfiction or fiction. You start by discussing the project, typically mentioning the target audience. It’s also important to write about your platform. When writing a query for a novel, you usually end your 50-word elevator pitch with a question like, “Will Thomas find the hidden treasure in Mesopotamia?” For nonfiction, you might include bullet points to explain who the book is for and why it’s unique.
A query letter is a business letter, so you conclude with a polite request: “Would you consider looking at my project? I have a proposal and sample chapters I can send you.” It’s as simple as that—just a handshake and a first introduction.
Thomas: These days, a query letter is typically an email. Some people still attach the query letter as a PDF, but that’s unnecessary. It just adds friction. While it’s not a penalty against you, it creates extra work for you and the agent but adds no benefit. Personally, I prefer receiving the query as regular text in an email rather than as a fancy PDF.
Mary: Absolutely do not attach it as a letter or a PDF. I will be afraid of getting a virus when I open a file from someone I don’t know, so I just won’t respond.
What are some mistakes authors make when writing a query letter?
Mistake #1: Not Researching the Agent
Mary: The first pitfall is not knowing about the agent. You really need to do your research before querying someone. I immediately reject queries that are not a fit for me. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I received a strange query for a coming-of-age book with adult themes. As a Christian literary agent, I do not handle adult themes, especially in a pornographic sense. So, know who you’re querying. This is one of the biggest problems I encounter. Sometimes, I’ll get a query for a children’s book, but I don’t know anything about the children’s book industry. It’s a great industry with excellent agents, but I am not the right person for it.
Thomas: When I was a literary agent, I used an app on my computer called TextExpander. I created small codes for different types of rejections. For example, I had a code for memoirs since I did not represent them, but many authors didn’t realize that. Whenever I received a memoir, I would type in the code “-memoir,” and TextExpander would automatically insert a two-paragraph rejection. Then, I would click send, and I was done.
I also had a code for secular books because I worked with a Christian literary agency. If the book was secular, I would use that code. Additionally, I had different codes for varying levels of rejections: nice, firm no, or very firm no. The fastest rejections were for those who hadn’t done their research and didn’t realize I didn’t represent fiction or memoirs.
Each literary agent looks for a specific type of book, and if you want an agent to say yes, you need to know what categories they represent. Find out what makes them excited about that category. You can research an agent by listening to their interview on the Christian Publishing show or by reading the Christian Writers Market Guide to find out what they’re looking for.
Your research increases the likelihood of the agent accepting your submission and keeps you from wasting time. You could spend 30 minutes crafting a perfect query for an agent, only for them to dismiss it in seconds because of a keyword that makes it an obvious no.
Perhaps your book isn’t truly a memoir, but it appears to be because of how you worded your query letter. When I have 50 emails to go through in a day, I don’t have time to read carefully enough to realize it’s actually a nonfiction book with memoir elements. However, if you had done your research and clarified this, I would have paid more attention.
Mistake #2: Having Grammar Mistakes in Your Letter
Mary: Having errors in your query letter, especially grammatical mistakes, is bad. I will immediately dismiss a query letter with spelling mistakes or incorrect grammar. If you can’t use spell check or ensure your letter is free of errors, it’s a deal-breaker. So, make sure your query is correct and reads well.
Thomas: One tool to help check for grammar errors is the app
Grammarly (Affiliate Link). While it costs a bit of money, it’s totally worth it. There’s also a free version available. I’m not naturally inclined towards grammar, but I really like Grammarly. Every time it points out an error, it explains the rule behind it and how to improve in the future. I’ve been slowly educating myself about commas through Grammarly. I might only know about 10% of what I need to, but that’s 100% more than what I knew a year ago.
Errors in your query letter are a major turnoff for agents. While your manuscript doesn’t have to be perfect, your query letter does. If you can’t get your query letter right, it suggests that you might not have a strong enough grasp of English to write a novel.
Mary: Yes. You’re competing with many high-level authors who are looking for agents right now, and few of them get accepted. If your letter has spelling or grammar mistakes, it’s an automatic no.
Mistake #3: Not Knowing Your Audience
Mary: Another common mistake is not knowing your specific audience. Niche is better than broad. When someone says, “My audience is 20 to 75-year-old Christian women who go to church,” it’s clear they don’t understand the publishing industry. Your audience is most likely people similar to you in your age range, and it is probably much narrower than you think.
You can have secondary audiences of different kinds. For example, I may have a primary audience of women, but men also read my books. However, in my query, I won’t claim that “everyone will want to read my book!” I will focus on my specific audience because that is what sells books. As the saying goes, “There are riches in niches.”
Thomas: Demographic specifics are less useful than psychographic information. While it’s helpful to have a narrowly defined audience in terms of demographic information, it’s even more useful to have a narrowly defined target audience in terms of psychographic information. This demonstrates to the literary agent that you not only have a target audience but also understand them deeply. You know why they read books and the pain points in their lives they seek to alleviate through reading. Psychographic information is extremely valuable. To learn more, check out our episode on Why Demographics are Mostly Useless and Why You Should Use Psychographics Instead.
Mistake #4: Not Understanding Platform
Mary: Many authors are timid about their platform or don’t understand the necessity for one, and so they don’t tell you anything about their platform in the query. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to ask for platform numbers, social media stats, email lists, and web statistics when something intrigues me. I can’t make a decision without that information. If you withhold these details upfront, it might only frustrate me, so be straightforward about it.
I do sign authors without gigantic platforms, especially if they have strong adjacent platforms. So, if you’re trying hard to build your platform and only have 2,000 followers here, 5,000 there, and 1,000 elsewhere, that’s okay. If you have connections with people who have large platforms and are willing to write a foreword for you or promote your work, include that information in your query. It can make a big difference. But don’t omit your current platform stats because that’s a red flag for me.
Thomas: You might think you’re being clever by listing all your future plans to promote your book, but those aren’t the same as having an established platform. For example, saying, “I would like to go on Focus on the Family to talk about my book,” is not the same as saying, “Focus on the Family has agreed to have me on their show to talk about my book.” If you’ve been on their radio show before and they have expressed interest in having you again, that’s valuable and will get attention from publishers and agents. However, merely hoping for such opportunities won’t gain credibility.
When I receive pitches, I pay close attention to marketing plans. If you say you’re planning to do many things, my question is, why haven’t you started already? Why haven’t you shown you can get on the radio or have articles published in major publications? Why haven’t you started that podcast? If you don’t know how, I have a course called Obscure No More that can help you build a platform.
One of the key things I look for is an email list. If someone has a large social media following but can’t convert those followers into email subscribers, I assume they won’t be able to convert them into book buyers. If people don’t trust you with their email addresses, they are unlikely to trust you with their money.
Mary: An important and nuanced aspect of social media is engagement. Your social media should serve as a springboard for building your email distribution list. Having many followers means nothing if they are not engaged. I recently saw a YouTube video about a young woman, supposedly a fashion and makeup influencer, who had bought all her followers and photoshopped herself at galas. It was creepy and weird, especially since she was only 19, and it was all driven by her mother. Despite her large following, the numbers meant nothing because all the accounts were fake. Brands approached her based on her follower count, but it was misleading.
If you have a moderate social media following with high engagement, emphasize that. Engagement is far more valuable than a large, unengaged following.
Thomas: The most valuable kind of engagement is comments, as they indicate genuine interaction. While bots can like posts easily, they can also leave human-like comments. It’s a fundamental flaw of social media: it’s hard to distinguish real users from bots.
Even if you haven’t bought followers, you may still have bots following you. On platforms like Twitter, as much as 30-40% of your followers could be bots, and on Facebook, if you’ve been advertising, up to 50% of your followers might be bots. These bots aim to appear as real users by interacting with random content, including ads.
That’s why having high social media numbers alone is not as impressive as it once was. Publishers today want to see evidence of genuine engagement, such as a robust email list or substantial podcast downloads, which are much harder for bots to manipulate. Demonstrating real human engagement and activity is crucial for proving the authenticity and value of your social media presence.
Mary: As an author, when I’m pitching through my agent to publishers, I list my podcast first because having 1.6 million downloads is a big deal. That’s probably my best platform. These listeners are folks who support the podcast and buy books from me. Anytime you can foster that kind of relationship with a reader, you’re going to sell books. If you’re a likable person and you’ve done well to build your tribe and shepherd them well, then they will want to buy from you.
Thomas: Notably, your podcast with 1.6 million downloads isn’t a complicated podcast. You’re not interviewing gurus. You are reading a verse from the Bible and praying for four minutes, and that’s the end of the podcast. It’s not rocket science, but it’s edifying and encouraging.
Mistake #5: Misspelling the Agent’s Name
Mary: Be diligent about checking, and double checking, the correct spelling of the agent’s name. It seems silly, but you’d be surprised how often it happens. It shows inattention to detail.
Mistake #6: Being Super Secretive
Mary: Some people fear that sharing their ideas will lead to their being stolen. Now is not the time to worry about that. I have no interest in stealing your idea because I have plenty of my own. Be clear and thorough about what you’re writing, and avoid leaving anything ambiguous. This is why, when pitching a novel, an agent will ask for a synopsis that includes the ending. I don’t want to be left guessing; I need to know the ending to assess your ability to write a complete novel. Keep the mystery out of your pitch. Don’t try to be coy.
As Jim Rubart would say, “shock Broca,” which means doing something different or interesting, but that’s not the same as being coy or mysterious. If someone writes something mysterious or esoteric in their query letter, I’ll just say no. If you can’t communicate clearly in an email or business letter, it’s unlikely you’ll communicate clearly to your readers.
Thomas: A client who’s afraid of their idea being stolen will be a difficult client to work with.
The agent-author relationship is long term. The copyright for your contracted book last 75 years past your death. That’s like a kingdom alliance level relationship you’re starting.
Because of that, an agent will try to determine whether an author will be easy to interact with.
- Can they communicate clearly?
- Are they really awkward?
- Do they understand how this industry works, or will I have to teach you every little thing?
- Have you done your research?
- Have you been listening to the Christian Publishing Show and all the back episodes?
- Have you educated yourself on how agents work and what they’re looking for?
- Do you know what makes a good book?
There is much to learn, and many authors don’t yet know what they don’t know. That ignorance often shows in the query letter, and when an agent sees it, they know the author isn’t ready.
A rejection is one way an author becomes aware that they’re not ready and need more education.
Mistake #7: Not Educating Yourself About Writing and Publishing
Mary: Another common issue I see in query letters is receiving submissions from people who aren’t ready. They lack a platform, have poor use of the English language, and are naive about the publishing industry. They haven’t done their homework or put in their 10,000 hours. They haven’t understood the importance of not despising small beginnings and haven’t tried to get published on smaller platforms. Often, their only publication is a blog read by a few family members.
Another major turnoff for an agent is when people respond to my request for platform numbers by saying, “I just want to write books, and God will be my marketer.” This is a cop-out. If you feel called to this business, which is both a business and a ministry, you must do whatever it takes to move copies of your books and get them into the hands of people who need them. This process isn’t easy; it’s not a fairy tale where a talented individual is discovered by chance and becomes an overnight success. That happens to one in 10,000 people. For most, it involves years of grunt work. I wrote for 15 years before getting my first publishing contract.
I don’t say this to discourage you but to emphasize the need to do the work. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, I can’t represent you because I can’t hold your hand through the process. That would be exhausting for me.
Thomas: Claiming God as your marketer is bad theology. That would be like the Israelites saying, “God has given us the promised land, therefore we don’t need to go and fight the giants.”
No. God has given you the promised land. Therefore, go fight the giants. You will have victory, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have to do the work.
Mistake #8: Writing the Book Before You Know Who It’s For
Thomas: A common mistake, especially among novelists, is writing the book first and then trying to figure out who it’s for. This approach is like making a shoe and then searching for a foot that fits it. Instead, you should find the foot first and then make the shoe to fit. In other words, you need to write the book to fit the audience.
When Paul wrote his letters, he knew exactly who he was writing to. He named specific people in his letters, which showed that he was familiar with his audience. Even when writing to the Romans, whom he hadn’t yet visited, he included names of people he knew. Paul had done his market research and tailored his message to his audience.
You need to do the same. If you’re writing fiction, start by writing short stories and reading the books your target readers enjoy. Talk to them about their favorite books and discover what they like about them. Ask questions to identify the tropes and themes that excite them. By understanding what your audience enjoys, you can incorporate those elements into your own stories and books.
Mary: It’s really about serving people and demonstrating that you know who your audience is. You need to demonstrate that there is a significant audience and that the book addresses common problems. You only have one chance to make a first impression on a literary agent, so make it count.
Don’t rush into querying. Take your time to think about it, pray about it, do your research, and understand your audience. Once you have all that preparation behind you, then write your query letter.
Thomas: The first commandment of book marketing is “Love thy reader as you love thy book.” You must care about your reader as much, if not more than you care about your book. You can’t be so in love with your book that you’re unwilling to make changes to better thrill and connect with your readers.
For many authors, this means setting aside their first book. The first book often serves as a form of therapy to help authors work through personal issues and prepare them for writing more effectively.
Just like learning music, your first songs are not meant to be recorded but to help you improve your skills. With practice, you gain the ability to create words worth recording and printing. Many authors, especially older ones, feel a sense of urgency to get published quickly. However, rushing is actually the slowest and longest path to success. Being faithful in the little things and avoiding shortcuts is the fastest way to publication. Don’t use age as an excuse to hurry; patience and diligence are key.
What tips do you have for spicing up the query letter?
Thomas: What are some things that get you excited and make you want to hear more from the author?
Mary: Basically, do the opposite of all the mistakes we’ve just covered.
Tip #1: Know the Agent and Who and What They Represent
Mary: Knowing who I am and what I represent is crucial. Although I currently have only about 12 clients, I plan to have a page listing them in the future. This will help you see if I already represent someone in your niche and understand the type of work I prefer.
Tip #2: Write With Clarity
Mary: When pitching, be clear and concise. I appreciate bullet points as they make it easier on my eyes. After I read your query, I should have no questions about what your book is about.
Clearly list your platform numbers, and don’t be shy about it.
Tip #3: Demonstrate Your Willingness to Learn How to Sell Your Book
Mary: Show your willingness to learn and do whatever it takes to sell your book. Demonstrating that you have already reached your audience is also important.
For example, I recently spoke with a potential client who has several private Facebook groups with thousands of members who experience the issue she is writing about. As a result, she is already attuned to her audience’s needs. She’s already hosting conferences and webinars and actively engaging with her audience.
Often, we get excited about a book idea without testing it. We don’t ask our Facebook friends for input or query our email list. I frequently ask my audience for their thoughts on my book ideas and if they resonate with them. This homework is vital. If you’ve already discovered and are serving your audience, an agent or publisher is much more likely to be interested.
Thomas: Many people believe they need to write a book to start a ministry, thinking the book’s publication marks the beginning of their ministry work. This mindset is completely backward. If you have the Spirit of the living God within you, you can start ministering right now. You haven’t just been given permission; you’ve been commissioned and commanded to minister. So, get out there and start ministering.
Consider Paul as an example. He waited years before writing his epistles, but he began preaching the gospel within 24 hours of his conversion. He was already spreading the gospel before even returning to his hometown. Similarly, you can begin your ministry immediately. Doing so not only fulfills your commission but also helps improve your writing as you gain a deeper understanding of your target audience as you minister to them.
Tip #4: Prove Your Passion Authentically
Mary: Passion is incredibly important. I encounter a lot of passionless prose, proposals, and even published books. It often seems that people are more eager to be published than to be influenced by God for a message. If you’re driven by passion, it will show in your query. You can’t fake passion with exclamation points. True passion for a topic, especially if God has led you through healing or a compelling story, will shine through in your query and on the page.
Make sure your writing isn’t just about ticking a box to become a published author. It should be something that wakes you up at night, something you can’t let go of, like Kafka’s “blow to the head.” It should be an obsession, a message you feel compelled by God to share.
Thomas: One way to demonstrate that passion is by doing the work: building your platform, connecting with your readers, and going beyond the bare minimum when putting together a query letter.
Can you share some examples of great query letters?
Mary: One query letter that really stood out to me was about a very difficult topic. The query was clear, and the author had already been working in the field, which made a strong impression on me. He had also put significant effort into his proposal. After reading his query, I requested the proposal, and it was highly professional. He had even consulted an expert to help write it, which added to its impact.
Interestingly, he found me through LinkedIn, which was surprising because I’m rarely active there, though I do list myself as a literary agent. Despite wanting to represent him, it didn’t work out for other reasons, as he had multiple queries out. However, his professionalism was what truly impressed me.
I received another query letter from a girl who had been sexually molested by her father. She had to go to court in the 80s for the case, which was extremely difficult. The end of her story had to do with being with him as he was dying of Covid. There was a poignant relevance in her story that caught my attention.
Most of the queries I receive are medium-vanilla-ish, and most do not stand out to me.
Thomas: The guy who reached out to you through LinkedIn had a really professional query and that stood out to you.
When you write a strong query, you often get interest from multiple agents. Often, you’ll get interest from multiple publishers as well. When publishers start bidding against each other, your advance can increase tenfold.
Publishers interpret the other publishers’ interest as a signal that the author really has what it takes. When you take your time and do the pitching correctly, you’re much more likely to have negotiating leverage and the opportunity to choose which publisher you want to work with. But when you rush and don’t educate yourself, you’re likely to end up begging for a publisher and have zero leverage for negotiating.
If you put in the work to develop your craft and build your platform, you’ll see progress. The easiest and most cost-effective way to do this is by buying and reading books on publishing, writing, and marketing, as well as listening to free podcasts like this one. You’re already taking steps in the right direction, so keep doing it. Keep practicing, and you will improve. Seek feedback from knowledgeable sources whenever you can. By being faithful in the little things, you’ll prove yourself worthy of greater opportunities.
Mary, if people want to pitch to you and send a query letter, where should they send it?
Mary: Authors can submit a query through the form on my website.
Sponsor
Christian Writer’s Market Guide
Find out what Mary DeMuth and other agents represent in the Christian Writer’s Market Guide.